there is a lot of things that must i do. the first thing important is to pullback again my self-confidence. i lost that. i dont have any confidence for do something, at least just to make a decision what should i do. for instance, i worry to stop n go for dinner in a restaurant that i choose, or what kind of food n softdrink that should i buy, or just make a photo with ACD see or photoshop. n you should know i can`t decide whether i will get married or not !. i have a big 500 pages book of marriage. i bought it last year. until now, i cannot n i dont have some braveries to just read it! how a terrible
i just feel better while i write this paper. before this, i didn`t hava a lot of friend. now i still don`t have. i afraid to meet a new friend because i dont know who am i, not me not my friend too. i lie alone, n ya appear strange boy in my friend, my neighbor until my family (this is like so unique, don`t it ?) that was my Lord will. i must get quiet, not make some noisy voice of dislikeness. that a must thing done by a moslem.
now, a change must occur from myself. i try n feel this is not an easy thing done. i feel hard, sometime veryhard. i dont worry with my future, just if i cannot do the right way, the future is gone. terrible one. i still cannot make clear plans, strategies for my future whether now i am in 8-th semester in UGM, what should i do tomorrow?
i can`t answer that…..
n i am sorry for my bad skill english writing technique.